17 Oct How to find (and keep) joy
Want to know one of the essential secrets to experiencing joy? Of course you do! We all do. That is why I’m sharing a few podcast episodes with you below that are going to teach you about finding (and keeping) joy as well as SO much more. These conversations between Oprah Winfrey and Brené Brown are so loaded with invaluable insights that I had to go back and listen to them multiple times to really let it all sink in. My hope is that you find a few nuggets of wisdom embedded in these conversations that positively impact the way you think about or move through the world. I know I did! In particular, it reminded me about the importance of gratitude, how the fear of vulnerability robs us of joy, and how giving voice to our stories is the antidote to shame. The links to the two episodes are below. But in case you don’t have time to listen (or if you want a sneak preview) here are some of the highlights:
- There is no innovation or creativity without failure. We must dare greatly and be willing to fall down in order to achieve great things.
- Authenticity is a practice. People are not either authentic or inauthentic. Authenticity is something we have to endeavor towards each day.
- Perfectionism is not really about healthy striving. It’s about feeling that if we do everything perfectly we can avoid shame and judgement. It’s about covering up a fear of being seen as not enough or a fraud.
- Joy is one the most terrifying and difficult emotions we experience as humans. Many of us don’t want to soften into moments of joy because we are terrified of them being taken away. So we “dress rehearse tragedy” in an attempt to avoid being vulnerable or getting hurt. And as Brené says so eloquently — “When we lose our tolerance for being vulnerable, joy becomes foreboding.”
- There can be no true joy without gratitude.
- Unused creativity is not benign. It metastasizes and creates grief, rage, judgement, and shame. We are by nature creative but somewhere along the way many of us lose touch with it. It’s essential to reignite it.
- Adults need time to play too, aka time spent without purpose, something that is quite scary for many of us high achievers.
- Shame is something we all struggle with to varying degrees and it is very dangerous to our well-being. We can get over bad things that happen to us, but the shame that we carry about those things is what really damages us.
- Shame grows exponentially with secrecy, silence, and judgement. But the antidote to shame is empathy and the sharing of your story. Share your story with people who earn the right to hear your story.
- The difference between shame and guilt – I am bad versus I did something bad. I am a mistake versus I made a mistake. Shame is dangerous and condemns who we are. Guilt allows us to see problems in our behavior (which is separate from who we are as a person) and make efforts to change those behaviors.
- Love and belonging are essential needs for all of us. Without those things suffering is inevitable.
Which parts of these podcasts resonated most with you? How might you approach your life differently with this new wisdom? Share with me by hitting reply or comment on my facebook page to connect with me.
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