If there was ever a time of year designed to poke every perfectionistic nerve in your body, it’s… right now. The holidays turn everything into a performance review. The gifts. The gatherings. The cookies your child insists must look like an actual reindeer with “realistic antler texture.”
If you’ve been trying to overcome perfectionism, especially during the holiday season, you’re not alone. Perfectionism promises control, approval, and peace… but let’s be honest, it usually delivers anxiety, paralysis, and exhaustion. So this holiday season, I want you to give yourself permission to show up as the beautifully imperfect human you already are.
Below are the tools, mindsets, and mantras that can help you start overcoming perfectionism and enjoy your actual life, not the Pinterest version of it.
1. Remember: Perfectionism and Procrastination Are Secret Cousins
It feels counterintuitive, but perfectionism and procrastination are basically two sides of the same coin.
When you’re laser-focused on getting something perfect, it becomes really easy to delay. Sometimes indefinitely.
You think:
- “I’ll start once I have the perfect plan.”
- “It’s not good enough yet, let me ask Chat GPT for 10 more ideas on how to make it better”
- “I’ll work on it when I feel more organized/awake/inspired/aligned with the moon.”
And then…you are up til 3am trying to get it “just right” or you never begin at all.
Here’s your new motto for the season:
Done is better than perfect.
Done is how you slowly begin overcoming perfectionism – one imperfect action at a time.
Write it on a sticky note. Make it your phone wallpaper. Tattoo it on your forehead if needed. Let it be the voice that interrupts your spirals.
Life is too complex for perfection to be the goal. “Good enough” is not a failure—it’s sanity.
2. Separate Your List Into Two: The To-Do List and the Wish List
One of the simplest ways to overcome perfectionism is to reduce overwhelm by separating the essential from the optional.
Perfectionism thrives in chaos, especially when all tasks get lumped together like they carry equal weight. They don’t.
Create two lists:
The To-Do List
Only items that have actual consequences if you don’t do them go here. These are must-do tasks.
The Wish List
Everything else.
These are tasks you want to do, not need to do. (Think: Handmaking 47 holiday cards or designing artisanal cookies for your kid’s class) They’re lovely, meaningful, and festive… but optional. They’re nice-to-haves, not must-haves.
When you’re struggling to let go of something on the wish list—or when you’re tempted to move a “nice-to-have” task onto your to-do list—come back to this simple boundary check:
Does doing this task interfere with my self-care?
If yes, self-care wins. Every time.
If staying up until 1 a.m. crafting immaculate gingerbread reindeer means sacrificing sleep, guess what? Sleep wins.
Because no one’s childhood will be doomed, no friendships lost, no cosmic shift felt if you show up with store-bought cookies from Whole Foods. Everyone will survive.
Letting yourself prioritize rest over impossible standards is a quiet but powerful act of overcoming perfectionism.
3. Adopt This Mantra: I Am Enough. I Have Enough. I Do Enough.
Perfectionism often comes from a belief that we’re lacking—lacking ability, worthiness, effort, value. It tells us we need to do more, be more, prove more.
So here’s your counterspell:
I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.
Say it until it starts to feel true. With time and repetition, it will.
Then reinforce it with a daily practice:
At the end of each day, write down:
- What you accomplished
- What you feel proud of
- What went well
Your brain will default to noticing only what didn’t get done. That’s the negativity bias at work. Redirecting your attention to what did happen helps retrain your brain – a crucial step in overcoming perfectionism long-term.
Choose Humanity Over Perfection This Season
As you move through the holidays, remember: overcoming perfectionism isn’t about lowering your standards – it’s about raising your compassion.
Please give yourself permission to show up as the beautifully imperfect human you are.
You don’t need a perfect holiday. You need a sustainable one.
You don’t need perfect cookies. You need rest.
You don’t need to impress anyone. You need connection.
You are enough.
You have enough.
You do enough.
Wishing you a holiday season with more presence, more ease, and far less perfectionism.
